Zack and Matt’s Original Man Crush Teams
Zack’s original man crush team:
Line-up:
1. Paul McCartney SP- The best songwriter of all time is the headliner of headliners this festival season.
2. Girl Talk CF The mash-up master gets the ladies in a frenzy like no other. Can you say spillover?
3. Lebron James RF How can you not admire King James. I took him with the #1 pick in fantasy and he’s done nothing but amaze me.
4. Larry Fitzgerald-LF You saw the playoffs this year, right? It’s only natural that L.F. plays left field. Imagine the home runs he’d rob.
5. Jack White 3B I’ve gone so far as to call him the most bad-ass rock star of the 21st century. I was given a framed picture of him by my blog partner. Sometimes I pet it.
6. Jason Segel- 1B He’s been on three of the best sitcoms of the last decade and a handful of brilliant comedies. When we talked, he told me I had an awesome outgoing voicemail message. You do the math.
7. Beck 2B I’ve been mushing on him since “Loser” and he’s been prolific ever since.
8. Paul Rudd SS- Clueless. Wet Hot American Summer. Stella. Knocked Up. 40 Year-old Virgin. Forgetting Sarah Marshall. Role Models. Friends. “I Love You, Man.” Had enough?
9. Seth Rogen C- No one laughs at their own jokes as much as he does. Except me. He’s far funnier.
Starting Pitchers:
Paul McCartney See: The Beatles
Dave Grohl I didn’t know what a frontman was capable of until I saw him w/ Foo Fighters at ACL.
Jay-Z All he’s done since “retiring” is drop my favorite rap song of the decade “Roc Boys (And the winner is…)
Neil Young: The
Long relief: Michael Phelps The night he won the 8th gold in the Olympics, but could not have been less suave on every talk show after. The bong pic made him human enough to keep around for long relief. You know he has the stamina.
Closer: Barack Obama- Who else would you want with the game on the line?
Tooch’s original man crush team:
1. Derrick Rose CF - Quickly rising to the top and asserting himself as the premier rookie man crush.
2. Andy Samburg SS - A young player with an amazing amount of potential. I just ate a grape and…oh god, here we go again. Not to mention the double plays he’ll turn with Timberlake.
3. Michael Jordan RF - The ultimate. We all grew up loving him and we still do.
4. Carlos Quentin LF - The best slugger in all of Chi-town
5. Mickey Rourke 1B - His stats have skyrocketed following “The Wrestler” and “Sin City.”
6. Will Ferrell DH - The king of comedy for the Judd Apatow generation.
7. Justin Timberlake 2B - Sure his solo stuff has been fantastic. But he had me at “Bye Bye Bye”.
8. Steve Carrell 3B - Still the big attraction for Thursday night TV, though his movies have brought things down a bit.
9. Ringo Starr C - Value has dropped a bit since demise of the Beatles, but “Shining Time Station” upped the ante.
Bench: Harrison Ford-3B, Eric Clapton-1B, Bret “The Hitman” Hart-DH, Jonah Hill-C, Tracy Morgan-RF, Brody Jenner-SS
Starting Pitchers:
Jay Cutler - Residents of the Windy City could not be happier with this gun slinging, long-banged quarterback.
Bill Murray - I don’t care how old he gets, he’ll forever be a golf course groundskeeper and a Ghostbuster to me.
Barack Obama - Cannon for an arm and never needs a bailout.
Tim Lincecum - Off to a bit of a slow start this season, but this fireballer is one of the best young arms in MLB.
Relief Pitcher:
Bob Dylan - He’s the ageless wonder. He’s never blown a save in his entire career and he never tires out. He’s relied on herbal medication to help prolong his career.
